It's been nearly 9 years since I really sat down and wrote. I've done a hell of a lot since then. Those articles, like most of my career, were centered around sports. This article is not.
I haven't worked what I would call, "a normal job," in more than a year. That sentence was easier to type than I thought it might be. Vulnerability is still a skill I struggle with, so you can imagine the answers I would give when people asked, "so what the heck are you doing now?" I've never been depressed. I was an athlete growing up, and a decent one. I was a two-sport captain at a big-time high school in Metro Detroit. I was a college baseball player and a broadcaster at the same time. I was on the air in a major market when I was 22 years old. I say this not to toot my own horn, but to be as honest and vulnerable as I can. Failure was not exactly a regular visitor into my life, and the days it did come, it didn't linger. But there have been several moments over the last year where I feel like failure has gotten far too comfortable on the couch next to me.
Now, let's be as clear as possible. SEVERAL people had it far worse than I did. COVID altered people's lives in a way that seemed impossible on January 1st, 2020. People lost their lives, people lost their jobs, families lost loved ones. I'm incredibly fortunate that the effects of COVID on my life have been minimal. But when COVID slowed down the hiring process for millions of people, that affected me too. For someone who wasn't used to failure, try going a year without a regular job and see how that affects your psyche.
The early days were fine. Sports stopped, so I knew a lot of my colleagues were being asked to do things they didn't want to do. In the beginning, it was almost like a vacation. I could play golf when I wanted; I could do anything I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it; and I knew that there wasn't an expectation that anything was changing in the short-term.
The days turned to weeks, and the weeks to months. I was applying for every job you could imagine, jobs I knew I was overqualified for, and jobs I knew I would never get. When the calls and responses don't come on the jobs you know you're overqualified for, you can tell yourself all you want, "they're just looking for someone with less experience, it's no big deal." That works for a few applications in a few places. But when hiring managers interviewing you say, "you know, we don't really get applicants with your experience level," and you still don't get the job? It feels like that F word again I've referenced already.
I never sulked. I never really showed it. The people in my support system reading this might think I did a good job not letting it affect me, but the reality is I'm just decent at selling a story. So I sold one to anyone who would buy. I traveled a lot, I spent time with people that I hadn't seen enough over the last however many years. And I prodded on. But the feeling of failure only intensified.
This website was the first step of pulling myself out of a hole that probably wasn't all that deep to anyone who struggles with depression, but for someone who doesn't? The hole might as well have been the Big House. This website was something, though. Something I could work on that could be my own, that could showcase my career and accomplishments, and could definitely lead me to a job, right? Wrong. The website was up and running, I was putting the link on every application, and still nothing. But I knew it was a step. And if you know me, you know how much I love the saying, "Rome wasn't built in a day."
I appeared on a few podcasts, and really enjoyed my time with those who asked me to be a guest. I had been thinking about hosting my own, but I didn't want to fail again. I didn't want to be the person who pumps his podcast on every social platform imaginable and watches it fizzle out quicker than the Big Ten in the tournament (oh yes, there will be jokes). My wife, my parents, and my friends, whether they knew it or not, gave me the confidence I could do it. For someone who has never lacked confidence, it takes some time to learn to gain that confidence from other people. But they've gotten me to this point now.
I really began really thinking about a podcast at the beginning of the year, and what it might look like. And last week, I launched the first episode. It was great fun, and I've got big plans to keep it going as long as possible. Whether anything comes of it more than a hobby, time will tell. By the way, you can find it at the top of the home page.
Not everyone loves their parents, but I love mine. And of all the things they drilled into me as a kid, one statement still to this day echoes loudest: if you're going to do something, do it right. So this is my re-introduction to the world, which is far more dramatic than what it really is (just the first of several posts). This is my pledge to you, whether you need to hear it or not, that this will be done right. If you've read this far, you either really like me or I've somehow managed to keep your attention this long. So please, stay with me. I'll upload multiple podcasts per week for as long as possible. I'm going to work damn hard to make it entertaining for every listener, even those who don't like sports. And, I promise that it won't take me 9 years to write another article. I plan to a do a hell of a lot more in the meantime.
Cheers. Mike